Miss, for every broken promises I made, I am sorry. #unsentletter
That’s the worst - I hate adults that act like children.
Things I do when that happens:
1. I don’t respond when they complain. They’re looking for a reaction.. any kind of reaction (agree or disagree) and once you provide that, they know they can talk to you about it. Don’t respond. It’ll be awkward at first, but just push through. Then they’ll figure out they can’t talk to you when they want to gossip.
2. Don’t do it yourself. When you’re on a new unit, you’ll want to bond with your coworkers and seek approval, however don’t do so by gossiping. Be thankful, help them out, go the extra mile for them, bring in goodies, and expect nothing in return. Also finding common interests (TV shows, movies, hobbies) is a good thing to alternatively talk about. Use something like that to establish a friendship and then get an inside joke going or something. Use those types of actions to bond with them, have minimal expectations, model the kind of coworker you expect them to be to you, and pray for the best.
3. Whenever they complain/gossip directly to you and you really can’t just ignore them, change the subject quickly. Ask them about themselves (people love to talk about themselves. Or point out something good and positive about the person they’re trying to gossip about. Hopefully that’ll change their mindset and they’ll feel bad continuing to talk so negatively about someone.
Good luck. I hope you can be a positive influence on the culture of your unit!